In what is being considered a medical first, the entire Indian cricket team has mysteriously developed severe allergies to a fruit commonly found on the island nation of New Zealand. The fruit in question is the Kiwi and it seems to have had dramatic effects on Team India.

The symptoms of this allergy have been varied to say the least, but their effects have certainly been crippling for the players. So while some faced disorientation with regard to placement and shot selection, others lost all sense of line and length. The allergic reaction also sapped the players energy reserves leaving them looking tired and completely out of sorts.

The mass kiwi fruit allergy could also have been the primary cause for the batting order collapse, the incredibly poor bowling performance and Yuvraj Singh’s beer belly. The allergy was also thought to be responsible for Rohit Sharma’s lack of form, but further testing revealed that the dip in form has primarily been caused by a complete lack of talent.

It is also unfortunate that the onslaught of symptoms coincided with the crucial opening game against New Zealand, the result of which was a crushing defeat.

Of course the Kiwi allergy has given Team India one crucial advantage. They now have a fool proof excuse to explain the loss to New Zealand, clearing the players of all blame. After all how can you blame one of the best one day sides in the world for getting all out without even crossing the hundred run mark, if they were all under the influence of an allergic reaction.

The allergy may come into play once again if the Indian team sinks against the Lankans. Sources say that coconuts, pineapples, bananas and other varieties of Sri Lankan fruit are already being lined up to take the blame.